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Thursday, August 14, 2008

NEGATIVITY in a POSITIVE way



Talk about contradicting myself! I don't even know if the above statement is possible.

I would love to think I'm perfect, but that misconception was soon reversed during the first meal I prepared for my husband. I was raised an "only child" and Pete being of Asian decent (his mother is 110% Japanese and believes that the women do ALL of the work-she will be 83 yrs-old this month), neither one of us were used to doing things for ourselves. Needless to say when we sat down to our first meal and I said, "I would like some more milk" and Pete responded, "So would I".... and we both sat there...looking at each other, waiting for the other one to move, to get up and get the milk! I knew that my life was in for a rude awakening. It was no longer all about me. To be honest... although I remember the incident I am not sure of the outcome. I think we both refused to get up and neither of us had "more milk". We were that childish. Today things are much different of course, shoot after 30 years of training, I wouldn't trade Pete in for anything! :)

Back to the negative thing. I have run across some negative things this week in skating. Obviously it wasn't skating itself, but rather those of us who participate. Whether as a coach, skater, parent, friend....... one negative thing led to another and so on. I got heated, like the "only child" that I am, when someone figuratively speaking, threw sand at me. My childish ways came out. So I got mad, picked up the biggest bucket I could find, filled it with rocks and threw them back! HA.... I got you!

No, really... I looked as dumb as it sounded. After I threw my "bucket of rocks", I had second thoughts. Not about the principal of the issue. I still feel that I was right, they should not have thrown the sand first. Throwing sand at someone is not nice, but retaliating is just as bad, possibly worse! It shows a lack of control. I did apologize and I hope that person realizes how sincerely sorry I was. You might still be asking, what has all of this got to do with "Negativity in a Positive way" and why on a speed skating BLOG? Well I did something negative. I would like something positive to come out of it. I can't change the past but possibly use it in the future.

Recently I have been putting some quotes together for my son to use at World's. I won't be able to attend the World Championships this year and I guess all the things that I normally have the time to say to him before he skates, I know I won't be able to say. We have traveled the World together in different competitions and with different sports. And whether I was there as his coach or as his "mom", I have always been "available" if he needed me. This year will be different. So that's why I gathered these quotes and then put OUR stories to them. I was getting ready to write one for today and it struck me.... that had "I" followed what I was writing, maybe I wouldn't have done what I did.

This is the short version of what Josh received.



Josh, today is about keeping a POSITIVE attitude.
"I firmly believe that the only disability in life is a bad attitude" Scott Hamilton
"The only thing worse than a bad attitude is a bad swing" Payne Stewart

On the outside, these statements seem pretty upfront and obvious. What it doesn't show is what the NEGATIVE attitude will do to an athlete. I remember a little boy about 4-yrs old who was warming up for a freestyle competition (artistic skating) and fell down in the warm-up. He looked over at his coach (mom) and once he had her eye-contact, he slapped his hand down on the floor as if he were angry, to show her and anybody else who might be looking, that he was mad because he fell. Today, 22 years later, we still laugh at what JOSH did!! Even today, I can see the look in Josh's eyes when he is agitated about something to do with skating. So I sent him this reminder:

When things are not working, you need to stop and figure out why. Smile... breathe and focus, learn to be comfortable, being UNCOMFORTABLE. Don't move from that spot until you can think of something that will make you smile. Attitude is everything!!!!

I wish I would have use the above technique. Who knows, maybe I would have gotten up, taken my toys and just gone home for the day! Something to think about huh???!!!

Top Rt Photo: The American Flag at OTC

Middle Photo: Josh during a photo shoot in April

Bottom Rt: Josh with World Champion jersey & medal on
for same photo shoot in April